That's Called Cheating, Dumbass

After reading my last post, and reliving some recent sexual blunders in my head, I feel like the best place to pick up is with James.

Remember James?

James was my BFF, great sex, dating a younger girl who he broke up with to sleep with me. I left all of my precious readers hanging on the edge, wondering what I might do next. Would I stand up to James? Would I finally tell him to stop sleeping with me and realize we can't just be friends?

Well, let me tell you.

It is about a year and a half later and a few weekends ago I saw James again. Let's just take a peak at how that played out.

I had remained on and off long-distance friends with James throughout the past year. It's been a struggle given our history and we tried mainly because we felt we owed it to ourselves and partially because we like to see each other naked so much. Anyways, during one of our off-again friendship periods I found out through the facebook grapevine that James was now "officially" (think facebook official) seeing this girl. Again.

That's right. The girl he didn't like enough to stay with when he went back to school.

Huh? That's what I thought too. After my initial shock, I went on to find out they were not only dating, but in love. This surprised me greatly seeing as a few months ago he didn't like her enough to even wait a day to sleep with someone else after breaking her heart but to each his own.

Fast-forward to this fall and after a drunken night I got one of those dreaded text messages where an Ex's name pops up on your phone and you think, what the fuck do they want and why do they always know to text me when I am drunk and horny?

After some pretty heavy duty flirting, James dove right into hardcore sexting. I was a little taken aback but I am always up for some nice dirty texting so I reciprocated. I then proceeded to do a little thing I like to call, crossing the line. It went something like this.

LL: James, we should catch up and get a drink when I am in town for the holidays, what do you think?

James: That sounds great, I'd definitely be up for that

LL: I'd like to see if you could be up for something else as well ;)

James: Oh really...? Why don't you describe what you'd do to me.

James: Too bad I am not single, I would be all for it if I wasn't.

Now, let's pause here. Why do guys seem to think that unless they actually stick their dick in someone else, it is not cheating? I may not have had a boyfriend in a while but I can sure as hell tell you if he was telling some bitch how much he wanted to screw her, I would not be okay with that. Regardless of if it actually happened or not.

Anyways, let's get to the juicy part. I went home for the holidays, and James and I went to get a drink. About five Vodka-Tonic's later we ended up in an abandoned parking lot, in broad daylight, getting our freak on in his car. But hold up. Before the actual penetration occurred, we had a funny little convo.

James: I am sooo horny. I wish I was single and we could sleep together. Maybe we can just get naked.

LL: Why the fuck would I get naked if I can't touch you or vice versa? That seems a little ridiculous. This isn't kindergarten and we are not playing 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'

James: (whipping his dick out of his pants and stroking himself) I know...I'm just....just...take off your shirt.

LL: And do what? Sit here naked?? I don't think so buddy.

James: (Pulling down his pants) Comes on...just one..

LL: fine, but only because you always tell me how amazing they are.

James: Maybe you can touch me just for five seconds.

LL: Whatever you say....(five seconds later). Okay five seconds are up

James: DON'T STOP!

LL: You said five seconds...

James: Okay fine, just go, take off your pants. Maybe we can just have sex for a little bit

LL: Look, if you're not committed to this....

James: Okay, fine, fuck it (ripping off the rest of his clothes). You're not going to tell my girlfriend right?

There are so many things wrong with this situation I don't even know where to start. I am thoroughly opposed to cheating. I've never done it and never plan on doing it. It just makes no sense to me. If you don't want to be with the person, don't be with them. And if your sleeping with other people, you probably don't really want to be committed to whoever it is you are. However, I feel like, if a man decides to use me to cheat on someone, that shouldn't be my problem.

That being said, I do have a conscience and I felt horrible after this happened. I thought about it a lot and felt guilty and depressed for a good week after the incident.

The other night I heard from James and was complaining about my current dating situation and my strange knack for attracting douche-bags and he asked, "Am I a douche-bag?"

to which i responded,

"well you did cheat on your girlfriend by sleeping with me, so I think that sort of qualifies you as a douche-bag"

To which HE responded,

"give me a break, I messed up once."

Oy.

I obviously have no chance at ever finding a decent man if they believe having crazy inappropriate public teenage-esque sex in the middle of the day with some girl who is not your girlfriend of two years is only a slight "mess up". I don't think he accidentally pulled his penis out and then enticed me to touch it, nor do I think that is excusable behavior, but hey, that's just my opinion.

Tata for now loves,

LL