Get Away From Me, JailBait

I went out for a drink last tuesday, thinking it would be a nice relaxing night to grab a drink with a friend. Obviously I was mistaken. When my friend left to grab us some drinks, a guy slipped into the booth with me. He was cute. Tall-ish, brown hair, blue eyes. He dressed nice. I gave him the once over and approved so I didn't kick him out of the booth. 

"Where's your boyfriend?" FratBoy asked. What a horrible line. 

"I don't have one," I replied. Then FratBoy told me his life story, including a fraternity scandal he was involved in which caused him to flee the state and come to a new school. What a turn on. Apparently after my 5 vodka-tonics, I thought it was because I gave him my number and he asked me to go to lunch that Friday. I was very excited. The next few days went by with no response from him and I tried to tell myself not to be that girl because guys never call when you meet them at the bars. 

Strangely, he did call. But not for lunch. He wanted to meet out again. I was a little perturbed by this, but decided to go with it. I met him out on Saturday and this time my blood was not half liquor and as I watched him stumble around the infamous underager bar I wondered if this kid was really as old as he said he was. His friend was with him and looked like he was a prepubescent teenager seriously out of place in a bar. My roomate pulled his buddy aside and in his blacked out state he told her he was going to be a freshman in the fall. Excuse me?

I started to feel sick that I thought FratBoy had potential when apparently he is quite possibly 17 and could send me to jail if I interacted with him sexually. I nudged my roomate and whispered, "please pretend like you are about to vomit."

I'm not really good with rejecting guys, mainly because I never have the opportunity. 

My roomate then proceeded to fall into the wall which thankfully FratBoy was too drunk to notice she wasn't even drinking. 

"oooh i'm going to vomit, we have to go home now" she is not a great actress. It took a lot of effort for me not to laugh. She bent over and pretended to gag. I think it is lucky the bouncers didn't kick us out. After 15 minutes of arguing with FratBoy about how I had to walk my roomate home and how I wasn't coming back out, I managed to tell him I would call him when I got home and then escaped. 

The next day at 9 AM FratBoy texts me: What happened last night? You ditched me? Sorry if I was real drunk. 

First of all FratBoy, don't text me at 9 AM. Ever. Secondly, ew did you even graduate highschool?

I feel quite discouraged by my recent luck in the dating world. For now, I think I'll change FratBoy's name in my phone to "Don't Answer Unless You Want To Go To Jail"