Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Get Off My Mind, Boston Businessman!

Ever since I engaged in some late-night back alley way groping with Boston Businessman, I've started to question some of my motives--and feelings. I believe I stated in my post about that night that I was "so drunk I just went along with it" when he started making out with me. The next day, as I was driving, I started to think about that. There are many, many people who I would never make out with regardless of how drunk I was. I could be half conscious with tequila dripping down my face and I still would fend off unwanted lovers. 
So then I started to panic. What does this mean? Do I just make out with BB because he's my friend and I don't want to hurt his feelings? Or because really, I actually kind of like him? I know that BB is a good guy, he is the kind of guy I want to like, the kind I want to want to date. Unfortunately, I have a thing for bad boys. I like guys who are cocky and assholes and stick their penis's in lots of women. I don't want to like these guys, I just can't help it! This has left me single and angry. So then, is it possible that someone who is right for me is right in front of me? I mean, he is one of my only male friends I haven't slept with, and who continues to be my friend despite the fact that I have rejected him numerous times. He does know a lot of my baggage and doesn't seem to mind. He stayed my friend even after he told me he wanted to date me but I was obsessed with one of his friends, and wasn't shy about talking about him (I was such a jerk!). But as much as he is a great guy, and I have a good time with him I wonder, maybe I'm just into the fact that he's into me.
Because really, that spark is missing. I think.  
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2 comments:

  1. The Caped TiraderJune 30, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Every one of the girls I know that are after the "bad boy" and are often single because of it have a friend like that, that no matter what still wants to be with them. A friend is basically Duckie (one of my favorite movie characters of all time) from Pretty in Pink. I can't speak on your experience as I don't know it, but most of the guys I know who are Duckie's eventually find a woman who feels for them the way that they feel for their Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald). Sparks always eventually burn out. Good luck!

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  2. Abstaining IreneJuly 2, 2009 at 12:49 AM

    Timing is everything...he could very well be mister right, but not right now. You have to get all your naughty desires out of your system first before you see what he has to offer in the long run. Sure, he could make a great husband, a great father, a great provider and security, but obviously you don't want that yet. Just be careful you don't burn him too bad because in the future he may be lookin' real good and have moved on...

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