Jell-O Shots And Orgies

In the current era that promotes sex among youth and ridiculous things like Rainbow Parties, I can't help but think, Damn I would have had fun at those in high school if they had been around!  In case your unfamiliar with these, they are parties kids have where each girl wears a different shade of lipstick and the guy with the best assortment of colors on his package at the end of the night wins. I'm not sure what it is he wins, possibly chlamydia? Okay, so that sounds bad. Like I mentioned before, my future children will be locked in the basement if they ever do anything remotely like I did as a teenager. Regardless of this, I did have a bit of a wild streak once I hit sophomore year of high school. I pride myself on knowing the name of every man I've slept with. I can't say so much for things that don't include sex. This chapter of LadyLindsay's love life includes the guy whose name I didn't know, couldn't remember afterwards, and still don't know. This makes giving him a nickname even better because in reality, I wouldn't know what to call him. 

We will call him Abs, for reasons which will become apparent. Sophomore year, my friend Vicki was dating this hot soccer player. One night, in typical teenage fashion, he had a party while his parents were out of town. Vicki and I sat on the stairs to her boyfriends basement, flirting with every guy as they walked upstairs. We were strategic in our placement, since the alcohol was upstairs so they were required to pass us on their way up. Somehow, Vicki and I found ourselves a nice pan of strawberry Jello-Shots. After we had eaten the entire thing, complete with licking the pan clean, we found ourselves making out for what I can only assume was an audience of horny adolescent boys (see, I told you I made out with girls). Eventually, my flirting and strategic placement payed off and Abs walked up to me and started kissing my neck. I assumed he was on Vicki's boyfriends soccer team but had never seen him before. Soon after, Vicki summoned us upstairs to a bedroom. I then found myself in bed with Abs, Vicki, her boyfriend and my other friend Bree (I have no idea where she came from, but thats what a cup of straight vodka will do to you). 

All of a sudden, clothes were flying everywhere and everyone was making out with each other. As Abs ripped his clothes off like they were on fire, Bree and I gaped in awe at his seriously toned stomach (hence the name). Then, Bree proceeded to stroke Abs stomach with her foot. Unfortunately as I made out with Abs who was next to me, took off Bree's bra who was on top of me, and tried to ignore Vicki's hand placement on her boyfriend, we were interrupted. This can also be included in my first experience getting walked in on. A very angry sister had come home to find small orgies of 15 year olds all over her house. Oops. After that, I went home, leaving a little bit of my dignity at Vicki's boyfriends house. 

The next day I woke up with a serious hangover and a dreaded feeling along the lines of, do I really have to show my face in school on Monday?  This is called regret, something I've become very familiar with. Despite the fact that I had never seen Abs before, I could not stop seeing him after our little orgy. I saw him when I left 3rd period, I saw him in the common area after school was over, I saw him walking down the sidewalk outside of our school. I never once spoke to him. Instead, I did the mature thing and covered my face and walked the opposite way whenever he was coming. Thank god he graduated that year; I don't know if I could have kept that up for 2 more years of high school. 

I tried to forget about this but since it is a fairly entertaining story, it tends to come up among my friends from high school. One time, Bree and I were talking and she said, 

"Remember that time when we both made out with Abs?" I looked at her.

"Sadly, yes I do remember. What I don't remember is his name." Bree shrugged and responded, 

"I think I do but does it really matter? All I know is he had a nice body and was a great kisser." 

Agreed. At least we all know what is truly important in this situation.