Put That Away, Jim

Remember Jim? After we broke up, we decided to stay friends. In case you are unfamiliar with this term, "friends" means 'Let's not date but still hook-up.' This remains true well into my adult life as well. Anyways, at 14, Jim and I fell into a nice routine of hanging out every Friday and fondling each other underneath the afghan blanket my great grandmother knit (sorry Nana...). My two best girlfriends were generally sitting on the other couch, pretending to be unaware of our blatant display of passion. Hooking up while other people are in the same room is something that should be reserved for college students or orgies. I guess we were ahead of our years. 

 One day, Jim and I were alone in my basement. He brought over this horribly gruesome movie about teenagers who beat up and kill one of their friends. The movie began and all I saw was penis. And boobs. The girl proceeded to preform oral sex on this guy. I wondered if Jim had planned this. Well, this is uncomfortable, I thought. I glanced over at Jim. And the small mountain that seemed to have formed underneath his shorts. I turned back to the television, but the awareness of his growing erection was distracting. Suddenly Jim turned towards me. 

"Want to give me a blow job?" Jim asked. Um...What? Is that really a question you just come right out and ask? I looked at him, then back at the movie I had no desire to watch anymore. I shrugged.

"Um, Okay." Within seconds of my response, Jim had whipped his penis out, conveniently popping through the fly of his shorts. "Oh." I said. I'd never seen a penis before. I inspected it a little. Kind of pink. A little veiny. Slightly pulsating. What the hell do I do with this? 

I got down on my knees and proceeded to put his junk in my mouth. As I was doing this, I kept thinking, am I doing this right? How do I know when to stop? Worst of all, is he going to like, come in my mouth? He kept shoving my head down in that annoying teenage boy fashion, as if me gagging is remotely sexy. Thankfully, most males have learned by the time they are 20 something that this is inappropriate and generally results in no happy ending for them. 

After an extended period of sexual activity in my mouth, I decided it was about time to stop. My neck was really starting to hurt. Jim put his penis away, my other friend came over, and we went about our day in normal fashion. This wasn't the last time my mouth made contact with his genitalia either. Looking back on it, I realize that he never did return the favor. Then again, they rarely ever do.

 (Note to males: Sex isn't included in 'returning the favor').