Walking Sex

Recently I've been noticing that everyone I come in contact with, I size up as a potential mate and/or sex partner. It's actually quite distracting. I've always had a very healthy sex drive, but nowadays it's slightly out of control. Dr. Louann Brizendine writes that "Men think about sex every 52 seconds, while women tend to think of it just once a day." This, I believe, is quite false. At least in my life. I am constantly thinking about sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going through a dry spell right now. Actually, things have been going fairly well in that department recently (well is a relative term, considering the qualifications for that term in my life). Regardless, I find myself seeing giant walking penises everywhere I go. Today, I ran into two of them. 

The first was while I was riding the elevator up to my apartment. This is a simple enough action, fairly non-sexual. I got into the elevator with a semi-attractive blonde man, we can call him Mr. DownTheHall (just in case he shows up in the future). He looked at me and asked what floor I lived on. Despite the fact he was wearing some sort of dated cargo shorts and maybe an oversize baseball hat, I still began to fantasize about what he would look like naked. More importantly, I could not stop thinking, Why on earth do I not know this hunk of meat lives down the hall from me? As I non-discretely watched him enter his apartment while attempting to subtly unlock my own, I realized there was an issue. He appeared to have entered the apartment that had been vacant for the last 6 months. It has a floral print door mat outside the entrance. Shit. Let's hope Mr. DownTheHall lives with a woman. Or his mother decorated. Possibly, either of those options might not be desirable. 

Let's move on to the second. When I came into my new place of employment, which shall remain unnamed, one of my co-workers, I'll call him Buzz (in regards to his haircut) approached me. I don't really find Buzz all that attractive but then again, sometimes their faces just don't matter. Buzz came up to me and said, "Are you available on the 17th or are you working all day?" I glanced at the calender. A Wednesday. I shrugged and didn't think much of this. 

"No Buzz, I don't think I am, maybe just for a little in the afternoon. Did you need someone to work for you?" This, was the most logical explanation. Since I am the new girl, most of my coworkers have assumed that any and all needs for someone to cover for them at work will be done by me. I suppose I shouldn't really complain because I don't have another job at the moment and could really use the extra money. 

"No, that's not it." Buzz replied. Oh. What? Now I was confused. Was Buzz looking for some quality one on one time with me? Could I really blame him though? I was possibly the only woman to have walked into our place of employment in the last few years that he could have sex with without getting arrested. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I work with a bunch of minors or the fact that I'm only being considered a potential lay because I'm not jailbait. Or maybe I was just fantasizing about this because when I looked at any male, I saw walking sex. Buzz then proceeded to walk away, with no further mention of this impending day. Interesting. Let's hope that Buzz or Mr.DownTheHall (or both) make future appearances, since I did bother to give them nicknames and all.